Baking And Consulting Detectives Just Don't Mix
by KattieWatsonHolmes
Summary: What happens when Sherlock Holmes decides to help his Irish companion bake a cake? Disaster of course. One shot written for crzychigurl343 based off of my OC story.


John Watson sat in his arm chair, typing up the recent case of the cabbie who had killed four people, and almost Lexi and Sherlock, for his blog. It was something new he had decided to do. After all, that case and the one that followed it had been the most exciting things to happen to him in a very long while, no matter how completely mental it all was. Speaking of mental, Sherlock had just gotten up himself and had shuffled into the living room wearing a grey t shirt, blue pants, and his robe. He had plopped down on the couch half an hour ago and had laid there unmoving ever since. If it wasn't for the slight rise and fall of his chest every now and then, John would have thought he had fallen into a coma. John jumped suddenly as he felt a cold hand on his shoulder and the peel of laughter that issued at this was indication enough for John that the second detective that resided at Baker Street had just risen.

"Morning Lexi," John sighed as the Irish girl walked around his chair and sank down into Sherlock's armchair her very long red tresses mussed up from sleep. Upon first glance John immediately noticed that she was wearing one of his jumpers, a blue and grey one that he hardly ever wore, but quite clearly one of his own. "Is that my jumper?" John asked her as she grinned sleepily back at him.

"Aye, that it is," Lexi told him, her Irish brogue thick as her voice was still full of sleep. John couldn't help but smile at her as she wrinkled her nose adorably before turning and looking over at Sherlock over on the couch. The consulting detective was sprawled out like an overgrown cat, his lanky body half on and half off of the couch. "Are you dead?" Lexi asked him only to get a long grumble in response. "Just checking," Lexi told him before getting up. "Tea?" She asked John as she padded towards the kitchen.

"Ta," John answered her as he went back to writing his blog, the Irish detective flitting around the kitchen behind his head. Sherlock turned over on the couch and opened his eyes staring into the kitchen. John watched him out of the corner of his eye, catching Sherlock stare off at Lexi as she danced around the kitchen making tea and humming something under her breath which sounded like a Beatles song.

That was something new that John had noticed lately. Sherlock and Lexi seemed closer to each other. On their first case, John had realised that they had formed a sort of companionship together. Now after one more case together they were... John didn't know what they were. For a man as stubborn as Sherlock he seemed to listen to the Irish detective. Then again, she could be rather persuasive. Lexi returned with the tea and passed the three mugs around, holding two mugs in her right hand as she was in a cast now. That had been something else too. She had punched a murderer in the face. Lexi MacKenna was entirely her own breed of woman. She was intelligent...brilliant in fact, and extremely compassionate. John was entirely sure that Lestrade had been right... She could be the greatest woman he ever met.

"Lock," Lexi complained as she moved to give Sherlock his tea, the consulting detective now curled up in the fetal position again. "Move your arse," she told him, nudging him with one foot. Sherlock turned and stared up at the Irish detective. He looked at her for a long moment before sitting up and taking and taking the offered tea. Lexi grinned and sat down after moving his legs. "Well, now we are all sitting comfortably. So, what is on the agenda for today boys?" Lexi asked the detective and the army doctor.

"No new cases. I don't know what has gotten into the criminal classes. All of them are either in prison, on death row, or are too boring for me to bother with," The consulting detective drawled out after taking a sip of his tea.

"Got a date later," John remarked, clearing his throat awkwardly. Lexi grinned back at him and laughed at his awkwardness.

"Watson strikes again. Good on you mate," Lexi said before she sprang up from her seat and bounced over to the kitchen. "Not having a case is good actually. I've been causing a little too much trouble for Mycroft lately and he's starting to get pissed off'" Lexi called back from the kitchen.

"My brother complains about the slightest bit of leg work. He has and will always been lazy," Sherlock commented as Lexi poked her head back inside the living room. She shrugged before she darted back into the kitchen.

"Okay, yeah, so all he does is sit behind a desk most of the time and complain, but he is still your brother and I like him well enough. If you want me to go out on any more case with you though I need to get back in his good graces. He wasn't happy with the whole locking ourselves into a hospital room thing we did on the last case," Lexi called back as the sound of cupboards opening and closing reached the boys ears and then the sound of the fridge door opening. "Ah, butter right by the severed hand," Lexi said, not at all sounding upset or even bothered by this fact and John screwed up his face in disgust. "Perfect, for once we are not out of milk. Thanks John!" Lexi called back at the army doctor turned in his chair to look into the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" The army doctor asked as he saw Lexi flitting through the kitchen with an apron on that said, 'I'd tell you the recipe but then I would have to kill you.' Lexi danced back to the door way of the kitchen with the plate of butter and the pint of milk in her hands, her hair was now pulled up in a very messy bun.

"An experiment!" Lexi called back with a laugh and Sherlock perked up on the couch, seemingly listening to her more closely now. "In baking," Lexi added as John heard a bunch of movement in the kitchen that meant Lexi was turning their kitchen into a cooking lab.

"Why are you baking?" John asked the Irish detective as she popped back into the living room, her apron and most of herself already covered in flour. John couldn't help but laugh at the sight of her flour dusted hair and nose. She giggled herself and bushed the flour off of her hands, lightly dusting the floor with a bit of flour.

"Two things you can always be certain about the Holmes boys. Sherlock will always solve crimes and Mycroft will always eat cake," Lexi said as Sherlock opened one of his eyes lazy at Lexi's mention of him. "Mycroft has always been partial to my German chocolate cake, but I don't make it often for him because of his self-imposed diet," Lexi told John as Sherlock snorted from the couch.

"That would be because my brother is a fat, pompous prat," Sherlock quipped as Lexi looked over at him and rolled her eyes, snorting herself before she walked over to Sherlock and smiled sweetly down at the lanky detective who was still taking up the entire couch with his long limbs.

"And you are the skinny arsed, arrogant, prat. Would you like to be the pot or the kettle Lock? Both of you have your moments," Lexi told him as John had to hide a laugh with a bout of exuberant coughing. Lexi looked back at John, shaking her head despairingly, thought hiding a smile herself. Without another word Lexi returned to the kitchen and the next few minutes were filled only with the noise of her getting things out and pots clanking against one another, mixing with the sound of John typing.

Sherlock's POV

Sherlock was bored. He had been bored since he had gotten up and nothing had since been interesting enough for him to take any interest in it. He had listened to John and Lexi's conversation, something about her making a cake for his already fat enough brother just to get back into his good graces. While Mycroft would heartily accept the sweets, the fat git, Sherlock rather doubted that it would be enough to appease his brother. Nothing ever made Mycroft happy accept perhaps for his favourite pastry or sugar free cookies on sale. After seeing the flour covered Irish detective, Sherlock had concluded that baking was way too much effort. So, while a steady stream of banging and noises which included humming came from the kitchen and the pitiful sounds of John typing on his laptop carried on in the flat, the consulting detective sighed heavily in frustration and turned onto his back, throwing his arm and leg off of the couch and squishing down into the cushions.

"Bored," Sherlock muttered sadly, barely audibly to himself. "John," Sherlock said more loudly this time. It was no surprise to the consulting detective that he was completely ignored. "John," Sherlock tried a little louder this time. Still his calls for his army doctor when unanswered. Sherlock turned so his feet were resting against the wall and his head was hanging off the end of the couch. "JAWWN," Sherlock tried again, drawing out the syllables.

"What, Sherlock!" John finely snapped at him in exasperation. The consulting detective sunk closer to the ground his head only inches above the floor now as he looked at John upside down.

"Bored," Sherlock huffed, sinking lower again so the tops of his curls brushed against the floor. John looked at him in exasperation for a long moment before shaking his head and going back to whatever he was doing. Completely ignoring his existence again. Well, that wouldn't do. John was his friend, his flatmate. It was his job to make things more interesting. It was here that Sherlock realized that he had done probably the smartest thing he could have ever done.

When Mike had introduced John and Lexi, Sherlock had only been looking for one flatmate. The extra room he was going to turn into a study or a room to do experiments in. He and John could have more that well afforded the flat together. No need for a female flatmate. That had been the farthest thing from what Sherlock was looking for. He was looking for a male flatmate. It only made sense to be flatmates with another guy. It meant not having to deal with silly woman who would probably only be interested in him and all the hormones and other things that came with women. There was something about the girl that Mike had introduced as Alexandria MacKenna that made Sherlock stop. She had a spark of curiosity in her eyes when she looked at him as if she was just as curious about him as he was of her. She was a puzzle, one that he wanted to solve. She intrigued him and that was how Sherlock had found himself extending the invitation to the Irish girl as well. She had proven to be an enigma. She was also a consulting detective, she knew his brother, and she was the most interesting person Sherlock might have ever met. One minute he thought he had figured her out completely only for her to completely surprise him. She was completely unpredictable. Right now, Sherlock was once again pleased that he had extended the offer to become flatmates to her as well. John was ignoring him, but Lexi wouldn't.

"LEXI," Sherlock called, his head now sinking completely down so his head was on the floor. Sherlock smiled inwardly as he heard the humming continue but come closer to him as Lexi danced into the living room, a bit pf butter on her arm and flour over her cheek bone. She looked utterly ridiculous.

"Yes Lock?" Lexi asked him as a slight smile gracing her face as he saw her look over the way he was laying down. It was a scene Sherlock never expected to find in his flat, a woman covered in flour, baking. It seemed altogether too domestic and Sherlock was typically one to refrain from all domestics, but somehow this felt right, having Lexi there in the flat. It really wasn't all too difficult living with a woman. Then again, Lexi wasn't a typical woman.

Sherlock had expected the bathroom to be overrun by feminine hair products and perfumes that would only irritate his sinuses. Instead Lexi only had her bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and body soap in the shower and her toothbrush and toothpaste out on the counter. She didn't wear perfume but smelt of lavender and apples most of the time, not that he had been smelling her. She just had no concepts of personal space. Lexi shared a hair drier with him which she hardly ever used because of the length of her hair. He had also expected her to spend countless time in the bath room getting ready, only to find that she only took about ten minutes to shower and get dressed. She didn't wear makeup which was nice. Sherlock would never understand why a woman thought she had to plaster her face with chemicals in order to look beautiful. Lexi looked quite beautiful without her face caked with chemicals. Not that he had been looking! Lexi also wasn't like other woman who wouldn't be comfortable looking all messed up around men. She walked out of her room ever morning wither her hair a mess and in whatever she threw on for bed the night before. She didn't primp and change before coming out of her room. If Sherlock was being honest she was actually less high maintenance than their army doctor.

"Bored," Sherlock whined out pitifully. He looked up at Lexi and she gave him a pitying look as she walked over to him and sat next to him on the couch, turning her head so he was looking at her upright.

"Do you want to help me?" Lexi asked him and Sherlock's brow furrowed. Why would he want to bake? He blinked back at the Irish detective to find that she was being serious. "Come on, it'll be fun. Keep you busy for a bit," Lexi said as she stood up and took his hand in hers, pulling him up with surprising strength. Sherlock sat in slight surprise before kicking his legs around the couch and standing. "See," Lexi said as she pulled him back into the kitchen which looked a bit like a war zone. She had moved all of his chemistry equipment over to the corner of the kitchen counter so that the table was clear for her to work at. She let go of his hand and danced over to the pantry, opening the door and pulling out another apron. She darted back over to the consulting detective and threw the apron over his head before dancing around him and tying it. He looked down at it and grimaced before smirking slightly as he saw which one she had given him. It read, 'I'm sorry, your opinion wasn't in the recipe.' Lexi pulled Sherlock over to a bowl which had flour and cocoa powder already in it. "Alright, add a teaspoon of salt and a teaspoon of baking soda to the bowl," Lexi directed as she pushed the two items closer to the consulting detective and handed him some measuring spoons.

The consulting detective eyed her for a long moment before picking up the salt and the measuring spoons and measuring out a teaspoon with precision learned over many years of doing Chemistry experiments. He picked up the baking soda next before he asked his question. "What is the difference between baking soda and baking powder? Couldn't you use baking powder?" Sherlock asked Lexi as he read the label. She shook her head at him and grinned.

"Nope. Baking soda is also known as sodium bicarbonate. When the sodium bicarbonate is heated it creates sodium carbonate which doesn't taste very good. You have to neutralize it with acid to get rid of the metallic taste. Unsweetened natural cocoa powder which is already in the recipe neutralizes the taste of the sodium carbonate perfectly and makes the cake all light and fluffy. Baking powder is a mixture of baking soda and acid. It is 'double-acting' which means it releases a small amount of carbon dioxide gas when it's stirred into the batter or dough, but it releases a majority of its precious gas when triggered by the heat of the oven. Therefore, baking powder is better used for baking cookies and baking soda for cakes," Lexi explained as Sherlock added the teaspoon of baking soda to the bowl.

"Why is baking that complicated?" Sherlock asked Lexi, wrinkling his nose as she pulled out a long wooden spoon from one of the drawers and brought the bowl towards her, mixing up the dry ingredients, a bit of flour kicking out of the bowl and onto the aprons of the two detectives.

"It isn't really," Lexi told him as she took the stick of butter and plopped it into another bowl. She took a measuring cup and the sack of sugar and handed it to him. "Two cups of sugar in with the butter," She directed him and he complied, measuring out the sugar. It seemed like a rather lot, two cups.

"Isn't that too much sugar?" Sherlock asked her raising her eyebrow as she brought out a hand mixer and out the beaters in. She gave him over the device, the beaters in the bowl before she plugged it in and held the bowl with two hands.

"Nope, perfect amount. Now beat the butter and sugar together on medium speed," Lexi told him and Sherlock sighed heavily as he turned on the mixer and set it on medium speed. "Beating" the two ingredients together.

"I don't see how you can like this. It's monotonous," Sherlock complained as he increased the speed on the mixer only to get back splashed with butter and sugar. He let out a cry of disgust before quickly turning the mixer off as Lexi laughed beside him, bits of butter and sugar in her hair.

"It is fun," Lexi told the detective as she took the mixer from him and finished beating the butter into the sugar. "It's messy and sometimes monotonous can be relaxing. Besides, are you still bored?" Lexi asked the consulting detective as she unplugged the mixer and threw the beaters into the sink. She returned to the counter and pulled out the eggs from their hiding place amongst the clutter. "Now, you need to separate four yokes from the eggs and only add the eggs to the bowl," Lexi told him bringing over the rubbish bin. The consulting detective sighed heavily and opened the carton of eggs. He cracked the first and went through the process of separating the yolk from the egg, a tedious process. Then she had made him save all of the egg whites in a measuring cup for some reason. Once he had all four added to the bowl Lexi brought over a pot from the stove full of chocolate and a bottle of vanilla. "Add a teaspoon of vanilla while I add the chocolate," Lexi told him and he complied without too much eye rolling. Once that was all added, Lexi beat together the ingredients with her spoon.

"Are we almost finished?" Sherlock whined and Lexi grinned at the consulting detective, nodding exuberantly. How was it that she could like this? It was boring. All it was, was adding things to a bowl and mixing constantly. There was nothing that involved any use of his brain.

"Yup," Lexi told him as she picked up the bowl of flour and handed him the spoon. Now mix while I add the flour in parts," Lexi told him, sprinkling some of the flour into the wet mixture bowl. She picked up a measuring cup of milk as Sherlock viciously jabbed his spoon into the bowl.

"Why can't you add it all at once," Sherlock asked her as he stirred and she added some milk to the bowl and then more flour. He was right, it was way too much effort for his brother.

"Because the mixture would get too thick which is why I have to add the milk at the same time," Lexi told him as they finished stirring in the flour and milk. "Beautiful," Lexi said as she looked down at the gloopy mixture in the bowl. "Sherlock grimaced, how was that beautiful? "Now,' Lexi said handing him a fork. "Beat the egg whites and then fold them into the mixture."

"What!? Why did I have to separate them if you are adding them!" Sherlock cried in exasperation, throwing his hands into the air, entirely unaware that a certain army doctor had been videoing them on his phone for the last few minutes and that he was currently trying to hold in his laughter.

"Because that's the recipe, like your apron says your opinion wasn't in the recipe," Lexi told him, her hands on her hips as she looked at the consulting detective who crossed his arms. It was the most adorable thing ever. It was rather hard to look to imposing when your curls were messed up and dusted with flour and butter and your apron was also covered in flour and bits of batter.

"It's stupid," Sherlock complained as the Irish detective sighed heavily, shaking her head before rolling her eyes fondly at the childish detective.

"It's called baking," Lexi told him before folding the egg whites in herself.

"It's still stupid," Sherlock told her as Lexi turned around and grabbed three identical pans which were sprayed and already ready to go into the oven.

"I know," Lexi agreed as she picked up the bowl of batter and poured and equal amount into the three pans before amazing Sherlock as she managed to pick up all three of the pans. "Can you get the oven door?" She asked the consulting detective and, still pouting, he opened it for her and she popped the pans in the oven before closing it and setting a timer beside the stove. "Now we wait for half an hour and we can add the filling," Lexi told Sherlock as she moved to start cleaning the kitchen.

How it started, no one would ever know. It began with Sherlock attempting to help Lexi clean the kitchen. Next thing the detectives knew, Lexi was covered with an entire bag of flour. She blinked up in surprise at Sherlock, white flour covering her face and her hair a complete snowy white. She glared back at the consulting detective narrowing her eyes and that was Sherlock's warning that things we about to go badly for him. Very calmly Lexi reached behind her and pulled a single egg out of the carton on the counter before bring the egg up the eye level and before bringing it down on the top of Sherlock's head. It cracked and Sherlock closed his and in took a deep breath as egg yolk ran through his hair and down his face and the back of his neck. While the consulting detective opened his eyes he found a very proud girl in front of him. Sherlock reached around her and took and egg, cracking it over her head, the yolk mixing with the flour and creating a caky mixture over her head. She glared at him lividly before she bent and picked up a handful of flour and threw it at him, right in his face. Sherlock coughed and snorted flour out of his nose, shaking his head, his face coming back white flour even clinging to his eye lashes. The two detectives looked at one another for a long moment before an all-out food fight began in the kitchen. Flour flew, eggs were cracked, milk was spilt, and soon the entire kitchen was covered in a dusting of flour and egg. Somehow they managed to fling things up on the ceiling and it dripped down onto the heads of the two consulting detectives as they danced around one another in the kitchen, using the kitchen table as cover.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" Someone shouted from the kitchen door way and both detectives stopped their assault on one another, turning to look at the kitchen door where a very livid army doctor was standing. John looked around at the mess, his face a shade of red that couldn't be healthy.

"He started it!" Lexi shouted, pointing at Sherlock as he shouted, "She started it."

"I DON'T CARE WHO BLOODY STARTED IT, WHAT THE HELL!?" John shouted and the detectives shared a look, standing there, completely covered head to toe. In hindsight, what they chose to do next might not have been the best option, but Lexi picked up a handful of flour and Sherlock picked up the last egg and they both threw them at John in unison. The egg hit square in the middle of John's chest and cracked, covering him with egg yolk as the flour covered him from head to toe. John closed his eyes, both of his fist clenching at his sides before he opened his eyes and sniffed in, staring murderously at the two detectives.

What happened next could only be expected. John tackled Sherlock and both men fell onto the kitchen floor. They rolled around as John tried to strangle Sherlock, the both of them getting covered it even more flour and batter. Lexi moved to break up the two of them, only to slip on the buttery floor. She came crashing down on top of the detective and the army doctor which immediately broke up the flight as both men instinctively reached for her and caught her. They laid there, the breath knocked out of them for a few minutes before the three of them broke out into loud peals of laughter. They sat upright in the cramp kitchen which wasn't meant for three people to have a wrestling match on the floor and they laughed harder as they took in the sight of one another.

"Woo hoo. Are you three alright? I heard a lot of banging coming from up here, "Someone suddenly called knocking on the door before Mrs. Hudson walked into the kitchen. He mouth fell open as she took in the sight of what looked like the sight of an atomic bomb. "The mess you've made," Mrs. Hudson exclaimed. "Look at my bloody ceiling!" Mrs. Hudson said as the three of us sat pressed together on the floor, our heads slightly bowed as we were scolded. "You better be cleaning up. In all my life I've never…,' Mrs. Hudson started as the timer suddenly dinged.

"The cake!" I said, scrambling to get up as the boys struggled to get up as well. I found a pair of oven mitts under the carnage and I pulled the cake out of the oven, setting it up on the top of the stove.

"You were baking?" Mrs. Hudson asked me and John turned to the both of us glaring.

"If you could call it that. I came in to find this," John said gesturing around the kitchen. "That was before they both pelted me with egg and flour," John continued and the two detectives looked at each other before shrugging. Lexi suddenly grinned at Sherlock cheekily as if a sudden thought came to her.

"Not bored now are you?" Lexi asked Sherlock and he grinned before chuckling. Mrs. Hudson got a fond smile on her face as she watched Sherlock and Lexi's laughter. The two detectives sharing in a private joke.

"Oh the pair of you," Mrs. Hudson said fondly as John stared at the two detectives, yes there was certainly something between them. "You better clean this mess up," Mrs. Hudson told them and Lexi nodded as she walked over to the fridge and pulled out a bowl of coconut and almond filling.

"How about you stay for cake first?" Lexi asked Mrs. Hudson. "I think Sherlock deserves it after all his efforts to help me bake it,' Lexi continued and Sherlock grinned.

"I thought the cake was for Mycroft?" John asked her in confusion and Lexi shrugged as she picked up a plate and started shaking the first cake out onto a plate.

"Well, I think we earned it more," Lexi said with a grin. They waited a bit for the cake to cool, waiting longer as John refused to let her put it on the shelf in the fridge by the severed hand. Once it was cool Lexi layered the cake and added the filling before serving it up to the residents of Baker Street. Mrs. Hudson sat on the couch while the two still flour covered detective sat beside each other on the dining room chairs as John, who had taken a shower and changed his clothes, refused to let them sit on the furniture.

Unbeknownst to the group, Mycroft Holmes had watched the entire events unfold over his CCTV cameras. He wasn't at all upset that the cake meant for him was eaten by the residence at Baker Street. It was amusing to watch the interaction between the three residents of 221B. His thoughts that Sherlock would only be bad for Lexi were completely expelled as soon as he saw the two of them together. Mycroft rather doubted that they noticed it yet, but there was definitely something between the two detectives. The residents of Baker Street enjoyed a quiet day inside. Mrs. Hudson ended up helping them clean the kitchen after all. The two detectives settled in reading their respective books, Sherlock's being a borrowed bee keeping book and Lexi's being one of John's old Anatomy textbooks. John felt it safe to leave the two detectives alone and wen to put on his date, not that it ended well. All in all, it was your typical day with Sherlock Holmes and Lexi MacKenna, consulting detectives and high functioning sociopaths.


End file.
